


Zombie Apocalypse Survival Society

by Akaashi_Keiji (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ...or is it?????, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Blood, M/M, Mild Gore, Slow Burn, They kill zombies sometimes ok, Unrequited Love, Zombie Apocalypse, injuries, knife mentions, mostly lighthearted, not graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8125605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Akaashi_Keiji
Summary: "You've been head of the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Society for three years!" Matsukawa screams, brandishing his baseball bat. "So don't fucking tell me you have no idea what to do!"Oikawa would roll his eyes if he wasn't being swarmed by his brain-dead former classmates. "So what? Everyone knows we were all just taking it to blow off classes!""I wasn't." Kyoutani mutters quietly. Oikawa debates throwing him to the zombies.  AKA Tokyo University's very own Zombie Apocalypse Survival Society fails to do the thing they claim to be best at.





	

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by MTVs snapchat story lmaooo
> 
> I really wanted to write a zombie au but stone cold serious ones werent giving me any insp. and i love the idea of seijoh ft zombies
> 
> i listened to this song called gigantic saga on repeat while writing this.
> 
> (pls read tags if ur triggered by some stuff)

If youasked Oikawa Tooru to make a list of the most unlikely things to happen on June 14th, 2016, a fucking  _Zombie Apocalypse_ would probably be first on his list.

Of course, being the head of the finest (and possibly only) Zombie Apocalypse Survival Society, he was not supposed to doubt their possibility at all. Not that he didn't rule them out completely- he believed aliens would land any day now, for Gods sake, it would be hypocritical to rule out zombies- but why  _today_ of all days? He had a chem exam today. He had plans to not die today, 

A zombie in question lunges at him. It's a girl with pretty blonde hair in plaits and a nose ring that he recognizes from around campus. A streak of blood dribbles down her chin.

"Candice!" Oikawa smiles suavely. "Nice to see you!" 

She rolls her neck and snaps her jaws at him, ghosting peppermint and blood scented breath onto his face as he blanches. His famous charm apparently does not work on the undead. What is the world coming to?

He has no idea where to go, or what to do. His Friday routine is to wake up, buy coffee and get to class half an hour early to get a good seat, so he had naturally been pretty surprised when his zombified class had started filling in. At first he assumed it was a really late April fools joke, because since when have zombies been punctual? But when he started getting emergency broadcasts from the fucking  _government_ on his phone, he decided to take it a little more seriously.

He slings his backpack over his shoulder-because it had his laptop containing literally all his work, and if he lost it he would be as good as dead anyways- and leaps gracefully out of her grasp. She lets out a impatient groan, stumbling over a chair.

"Bye!" he yells, throwing her a peace sign as he yanks open the door. Another zombie is waiting for him, a guy with messy red curls and glasses, teeth gnashing impatiently. He yelps before shutting it again. Candice snarls. 

"Okay,  _fuck."_ he says. "Fuck this so  _bad._ I'm trained for this shit."

He pauses, wracking his brain for a solution because Candice is apparently  _really_ desperate to bite him, before he remembers those little  _How to Survive a Zombie Attack_ handbooks he bought for everyone in the club off amazon. It's in the front pocket of his backpack, about the size of his palm, and he fumbles clumsily through the thin pages before spotting  _Rule 24: Go for the nose to temporarily stun a zombie._

He doesn't ask how the writer knows this because as far as he's concerned, this is the first zombie apocalypse, but he's desperate. 

Candice should be ashamed of her coordination, because she's only halfway across the room, trudging clumsily through a sea of overturned chairs. He takes a deep breath, tries to warm up his hands by shaking them a little. He's never punched anyone before, but he's also never been almost eaten before, so he supposes they balance each other out. 

He opens the door. Red-haired guy is still there, and before he can process anything, he's cranked his arm back and sent it flying towards the other guys face. It works- the zombie falls backwards, letting out a thick moan. 

"I did it?" Oikawa asks the other three zombies in the hall, staring blearily at him. "I did it!"

He's ready to nail another one in the face when he pauses, stumbling backwards. The zombie in front of him is a girl, neat brown hair in a pixie cut and glowing hazel eyes. He knows that if she was smiling, dimples would stretch across her cheeks. 

"Yui?" He asks shakily, and the girl in question snarls. He's talked to her a few times, and he's copied notes from her after he missed a class before. She lent him money to get skittles from the vending machine in his dorm once, and he hadn't payed her back yet. 

"Yui?" he asks again, slightly louder, hoping his voice would somehow cure her. She stumbles forwards blindly, hands groping for him. 

"Shit," he curses under his breath. " _Shit,_ you're a zombie. Shit, i'm gonna die."

He supposes he's wasted three years of his life being the head of a zombie society when in the end- the _entirely_ ridiculous and unlikely end- he can't even bring himself to hurt one.

He closes his eyes, resigned to his fate. He wonders if the red-haired kid he knocked out thought he'd end up as a zombie. He wonders if his family are OK. He wonders who turned Yui. 

He feels warm hands on his arm, and braces himself for the bite (Is it even a bite? How do you get turned into a zombie? How cliche is this apocalypse?) when a gruff voice forces him from his thoughts. 

"Open your eyes and run, idiot."

A tanned guy with green eyes is staring at him, and Yui is on the floor. Her eyes are open and she's twisting groggily, but blood is leaking from her nose. Oikawa wonders if angry-looking guy has the same handbook he does.

His feet stay planted firmly on the floor, and the other rolls his eyes. "You're the head of the Zombie Society, aren't you? I know it must of been pretty hard for you guys to train, but i didn't think you'd be  _this_ bad."

"Sorry." Oikawa apologizes, but he can't stop staring at the blood on his knuckles. "She was... a friend."

Angry-guys eyes blow wide. "Shit." he curses. "Sorry, i didn't-"

"Don't worry." Oikawa cuts in. "You saved my life." And then, because another zombie was getting worryingly close to them, he added. "We should probably run now."

"Agreed."

The other grabs his hand with a surprisingly firm grip, arm bunching with muscles that Oikawa didn't notice was before. Oikawa hopes his hand isn't too sweaty, but he feels like muscular guy wont care either way. 

"You have a firm grip," Oikawa tells him, because it's a fucking zombie apocalypse and a hot guy is holding his hand and there is absolutely  _no protocol for this._ Not even in the fucking handbook. Maybe in the fucking handbook. Oikawa hasn't gotten past chapter seven.

The other stares at him for a moment, olive eyes creased in confusion, before, with almost no warning, he begins to sprint down the hall.

Oikawa is, obviously, in good shape. He played volleyball competitively until he was eighteen and his knee suffered one fuck-up too many. He still plays it for pleasure quite frequently, and on top of tennis, intense zombie apocalypse training scenarios and bi-weekly trips to the gym, he's pretty proud of his physique.

Hot guy is on a whole other level.

"Holy fuck!" Oikawa gasps as they weave between the limp grasps of zombies. "Ate you related to Usain Bolt or something?"

"Usain Bolt is probably a zombie right now, so i suggest you concentrate on not dragging me behind." the other replies, panting slightly. Oikawa is shocked into silence at the thought of zombie Usain Bolt belting towards them, then just at the thought of Usain Bolt as a zombie in general. Oikawa wonders if he  _is_ a zombie, then if his nephew is. His sister. His grandma. The cashier at Starbucks he ordered a flapjack from yesterday. The eerie seriousness of the situation descends on his shoulders, and he barely recognizes the quad as they burst into it. 

About twenty zombies are milling around on the grass, but as soon as they spot Oikawa and his new friend sprinting across the center they break into a motivated limp. Oikawa can see at least three helicopters whirring through the sky, and he waves his free arm around desperately, hoping it will accomplish something. It does nothing except trigger hot guy to snap "Just focus on getting to the shack."

"The shack?" Oikawa asks incredulously, finally glancing at their destination. The shack is where the Zombie Society is held, a small one-room building with walls of corrugated metal and doors of thick steel, with a key Oikawa forgot at his dorm (If he even remembered to lock it up last time, which is unlikely) and a metal latch on the inside to protect you from zombies which Oikawa thought was completely idiotic until today. "That thing'll be fucking locked!" he screeches. "We're so fucking dead right now!"

However, it appears that Oikawa  _is_ good for something after all, because at the sound of him screaming bloody murder, a familiar strawberry blonde pokes his head out of the one murky, double-glazed window of the shack.

"Oikawa!" he smiles brightly. "You're alive!"

" _Open the fucking door!"_ Oikawa screams back, and Hanamaki jumps slightly, before turning to someone out of view. "Yahaba, you heard the boss."

Hot guy has stayed silent through this exchange, but tension in his shoulders releases slightly as they hear the sound of metal grating against metal. The door flies open as they skid inside, and the bruised faces of the Zombie Society stare at them. 

"Oikawa!" Hanamaki smiles again. He has two black eyes, and dried blood is caked across his cheeks, plus he's wearing spiderman-themed pajamas for reasons beyond Oikawa. "You're okay?"

"Peachy. You, however-"

"Who's this?" Kyoutani asks, interrupting him. He's brandishing a butter knife threateningly, and there's a thick welt on his jaw. "Someone you helped out?"

"But of course!" Oikawa replies simperingly. "This is-" he pauses. "Uhhh."

"Iwaizumi Hajime." Hot guy- Iwaizumi- says. "And i'm pretty sure _i_ saved _you."_

Kyoutani nods sagely, but is eyes are shining like he's a six year old sitting on Santa's lap. "You saved captain? Nice!"

Oikawa's too overwhelmed by the whole apocalypse-thing going on that he doesn't argue. He turns to Matsukawa, who is wearing a stained shirt and boxers, and swinging a baseball bat between his fingers. "Is everyone here?" he asks, and Mattsun nods. 

"Yahaba, Watari and Kyoutani came in together maybe half an hour ago, Kindaichi and Kunimi maybe ten minutes after that, and me and Makki have been here since last night."

"What the fuck? Ew." Oikawa spits, and Hanamaki grins unapologetically. "My roommate kicked me out." He offers, and Oikawa stifles a groan. "if you've been here since this morning, whats with the eyes?"

Hanamaki taps the right. "Kyoutani apparently thinks zombies have the ability to unlock doors and greet him." He offers. "And the left is 'cause i nailed Kyoutani back and Yahaba over here is a bit overprotective of his boyfriend."

Yahaba shrugs. 

"Okay, hold on-" Iwaizumi cuts in, and eight heads swivel round to stare at him. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but there's a  _zombie apocalypse_ going on out there. People are  _dying._ People,  _including us,_ are going to die if we don't stop treating this like a game."

"What else are we meant to treat it like?" Kunimi asks, flicking strands of hair out of his face. "This is ridiculous. If i started taking it seriously, i wouldn't be able to cope."

Iwaizumi is silent. Matsukawa hops from foot to foot, wiggling his baseball bat and raises an eyebrow at Oikawa suggestively, who ignores him.

"Oikawa." Kyoutani says finally. "You're captain, aren't you?" 

"Yes." he replies, although he isn't really sure what Kyoutani is implying. "I happen to be."

Everyone else seems to understand what Kyoutani is implying, and they turn to Oikawa expectantly- Even Iwaizumi, which is unfair because he's only been here for five minutes and is already part of the gang? Okay. 

"You want me to lead you?" He asks finally. "Want me to be in charge of nine lives? Guys, i have no idea what  _i'm_ doing. I'm barely holding myself back from curling into a ball and crying until the zombies get me, which is a sentence  _nobody_ should have to say."

"Well." Watari cuts in, voice muffled around a split lip. "We  _are_ the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Society, aren't we? This meant to be our forte. And  _you're_ meant to be our captain."

Oikawa stares at them all for a moment, and they stare back. "Fine." he says. "I suppose we should initiate Iwaizumi into the society."

"Initiation?  _Now?"_ Iwaizumi asks incredulously. Oikawa huffs impatiently. "Fine. You can become an honorary member, i guess. But as soon as we get to a safer place, you're being initiated." 

"This is pretty safe." Matsukawa offers, before a zombie smashes it's face against the window and snarls impatiently, leaving blood mingling into the grime. "Safe enough for now." he corrects himself. 

"But for how long?" Kyoutani asks, nodding wisely. He's tossing his butter knife between his hands like he's going to save the world with buttered toast. "That's the  _real_ question."

"The real question is what we're going to do now!" Oikawa corrects him cheerfully. "Which is _not_ listen to you, Kyou-chan. We're going to have our first official emergency meeting!"

Oikawa cares about home decor more than 60% of things, including zombie society training exercises, which is why the inside of the shack is nicely furnished. There's an old rug on the floor that releases dust with every movement, and scattered over it are a few beanbags, and one armchair situated in front of a whiteboard. He flicks on a small lamp that sits next to a pocket-sized emergency radio, lightening the dark room as much as he can, and waits for everyone to sit down. 

"Right!" he says when they've finished, taking his place by the whiteboard. "First order of business! Has everyone got their booklets?" he holds out  _How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse,_ and everyone but Iwaizumi and Kunimi nod. 

"Kunimi, you're meant to have that on you at all times!" Oikawa says. "Iwaizumi has an excuse, but you should have yours!"

Kyoutani holds his up. "He's right, Kunimi, it's very helpful." He says. " _Punch a Zombie in the nose to stun it. Stab a zombies eyes to blind it._ Both effective."

Kunimi shrugs. "Yeah, i'm not surprised. That works on everyone, not just zombies."

Kyoutani looks a little shocked at this, and he stares at the book in his hands in betrayal. Oikawa clears his throat. "Kunimi, share with Kindaichi and stop bullying Kyoutani. But really, Kyoutani, it's not the end of the world."

"It really is," cuts in Hanamaki unhelpfully. Oikawa glares at him, "Alright, it  _may be_ the end of the world. It  _may be_ that the Zombie Survival Book is a scam." he presses on, ignoring Matsukawa's snort. "But does that mean we will fail to do the thing we've spent so long training for? We're the masters of this trade. We can't just sit in this shack forever-"

"Actually." Kindaichi cuts in nervously. "We can. We have running water in here, and we collect rainwater, plus we have dried food to last us until 2040, and Kyoutani will probably have us all killed by then. So we  _could_ stay here."

"Wait." Oikawa blinks. "Really? Damn, we  _are_ prepared."

Kyoutani frowns. "Oikawa, you can't really be saying we just-"

"Second order of business!" Oikawa cuts him off cheerily. "Stay here until we die! Any objections?"

Watari's hand snakes up, but quickly falls back down as they hear the metallic thud of a zombie smashing itself against the outside walls repeatedly. Kyoutani and Iwaizumui hold theirs up firmly, however, and Oikawa rolls his eyes. "Majority vote says yes! Here's to survivng."

Unsurprisingly, nobody cheers. Hanamaki leans his head against Matsukawa's shoulder with a pathetic sigh, and Kyoutani wanders over to the window, pressing his face to the bloodstained glass. Oikawa sits in the armchair, his legs tucked underneath him, and waits for lunchtime. 

 

"Oikawa." Hanamaki whispers, shaking him awake. It's dark, but he can see his amber eyes dimly through the darkness. 

"What?" Oikawa asks groggily, sitting up. He wonders where he is, before remembering with startling clarity- zombie apocalypse. Agreeing to live in the shack. Lunch, dinner, silently dismal affairs, and falling asleep at seven to the sound of KIndaichi crying because there was nothing else to do but be fucking  _terrified._

"The radio." Hanamaki whispers back in excitement. "They're saying to get to Miyagi. Say it's a safe zone, and it's  _close."_

"It's a four hour car ride." Oikawa says breathlessly, and his heart is thumping with excitement. "And we can't drive. Plus we don't know the directions."

"I know." Iwaizumi cuts in. Him and the others are hunched over the carpet, huddled around the radio which is whirring quietly. The electronic script reads splayed across the front reads  _0_ _3:45._ "I'm from there. My sister- she" he swallows painfully. "She's there, and she's only seven. Eight, in july, and-" He cuts himself off. "We should go."

"Of course we should!" Kyoutani says, butter knife back in hand. "And we should stop off at the kitchens and the sports center to get weapons, and-"

"Kyoutani, kiddo." Matsukawa rolls his eyes. "We have twenty-four years worth of food and water yet you think we have  _no weapons?_ Where do you think i got this baseball bat from?" He grins, winking. 

Oikawa smiles, standing up fully. "Third and final order of business!" he grins, voice still croaky with sleep. "Get to Miyagi. Meet our families, and Iwaizumi's adorable little sister. Any objections?" 

He's met with silence, so he walks over to their cupboard messily labelled  _weapons and food_ and pulls out a pair of wicked-looking hedge shears. Kunimi scoots back, looking downright terrified, and Kyoutani puts down his knife in shame. 

"Meeting adjourned." He announces proudly. A slight cheer, headed by Kyoutani, ripples through the group. 

"Let's blow this popsicle stand," Hanamaki smiles, retrieving a thick metal mallet Oikawa nicked from his fathers workshop. "Who's ready to kill some zombies?"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [ My Tumblr!](http://oikiwaoi.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This is what i would do in a zombie apocalypse. This or curl up into a ball and cry. I had fun writing this, and i havent found writing fun for a long time?
> 
> Weapons-  
> Oikawa- shears, Iwaizumi- Axe, Kyoutani Kunimi and Yahaba- cleavers, Matsukawa, Watari- Baseball bats, Hanamaki and Kindaichi- hammers
> 
> Uhh it wont be gory but


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